My Big Announcement!
(Above picture is me at 16 weeks.)
I’ve been laying low the last few months because…I’m pregnant!! It came as quite a surprise to us, but we can’t wait to meet our new little bundle! I am currently 16(almost 17) weeks along. We didn’t even tell our family until after 12 weeks because of my previous miscarriage.
I was worried from pretty much the moment the test came back positive. I called my doctor right away, but I couldn’t even schedule my appointment yet because technically I didn’t miss my period. I took the test 5 days before my period and it was unmistakably positive. They won’t make an appointment because it could end in an early miscarriage and you get your period as scheduled.
The day after my official missed period, I called back to make my 8 week appointment. All I could think about was my miscarriage. It was hard to get excited. I know I had 2 fairly easy pregnancies that gave me 2 wonderful boys, but once you have a miscarriage…it consumes your thoughts.
At 5 weeks, I started spotting. “This is it. It’s over.”, I thought to myself. I had spotted the last time too and thought nothing of it because from what I had read, it could be perfectly normal. It wasn’t bright red or a lot of it, it was always dark and hardly any at all. At that time, I just thought it was from all the stress I was under from having to put my 13 year old Golden Retriever down. (My last miscarriage was a missed miscarriage which means my body didn’t recognize it had a miscarriage and kept going as if it were pregnant. The only symptom I had was spotting occasionally. I ended up having a D&C procedure to remove the tissue at 11.5 weeks.)
So this time when it started, I pretty much went blank. I told my friend I was having another miscarriage. It was early in the morning and she urged me to call my doctor as soon as they opened. I told her I didn’t want to because there is nothing they can do if I am having a miscarriage. She kept insisting and I kept saying no. Finally she said to do it so I know for sure it’s a miscarriage. I knew all they would do is take my blood to check my levels of the pregnancy hormone, but I agreed.
When my hubby came home, I broke down. I couldn’t understand why I would be going through it again. After my initial cry, I went blank again. I explained to him I had gone in for a blood test and had to go back in 2 days for the second draw(which would be on Sunday). I wouldn’t hear back from the doctor until Monday morning.
It was hard to act normal because no one knew, not even our boys. I didn’t want them to have to go through losing another baby too. The weekend seemed to take forever.
Monday morning finally came and I was waiting right by my phone. As soon as I got up to go to the bathroom, it rang! Of course I missed it and had to call them right back. The nurse gave me the news…my hcg levels are doubling as normal and my progesterone looks great! I was NOT having a miscarriage!
She told me to keep my 8 week appointment as scheduled and to try to stay positive! I called my hubby to let him know the great news! It was such an emotional time for me and I was trying to stay positive, but in the back of my mind, I still thought about the miscarriage.
I told my friend the news too and she said she would stay positive for me, even when I couldn’t. I was so glad to have someone to confide in about everything!
At my 8 week appointment, the doctor wanted to do an ultrasound because of my miscarriage history. She found the baby and the heartbeat right away! I got to take home pictures of our new little miracle, but my worries weren’t over.
At my 12 week appointment, the heartbeat was still going strong and my worries lessened. Even though I know it can still happen, I decided to try to enjoy this last pregnancy! It is time to make the best of it because that’s what this baby deserves. It doesn’t need me to be scared out of my mind every time I go to the bathroom, checking for any sign of miscarriage.
I had very strong symptoms starting at 4 weeks. I had very bad nausea that kept me feeling icky all day, every day. It was worse whenever I tried looking at my computer. All I could do was lay around and hope it would go away. It didn’t let up until week 14. Now that I’m feeling better, I am hoping to get back to work!
Another symptom I was having was being exhausted. I used to be really active and working out, so it was quite the change not being able to do much because I felt tired and terrible. That is also starting to let up, so it’s time to get back to some sort of exercise regimen!
Oh and don’t forget food aversions! I thought I would eat SO healthy this time and stocked up on veggies, but when the food aversions hit…forget the veggies! They made my stomach turn. All I wanted to eat was junk! It was hard cooking for my family because the food looked so repulsive to me, but I couldn’t feed them junk too. My food aversions have finally let up and I am back to eating the veggies I enjoy!
Add all these up and that equals a significant weight gain. I worked so hard to lose weight before, it’s difficult to watch it come back on. I can’t beat myself up over it though. I will take it as it comes and work just as hard after to get it gone again. I am positive I can do it!
Finally telling our families at 12 weeks was a relief too. No more having to pretend I was fine when we were out. No more pretending I had a head cold if they came over. No more trying to hide that my clothes were getting tighter.
(Above picture is me at 13 weeks.)
Being almost 17 weeks, I am dealing with the “usual nothing fits, but I don’t exactly look pregnant” time of pregnancy. I bought myself some new bras(because I am unfortunate to have had that area get larger, quick!), pants and a shirt. I’m hoping to not spend a lot of money on clothes I will only wear for about 5 more months…
That’s about all for now! I can’t wait to keep everyone updated on how the rest of these 9 months go!